"For old times." Dear Samanatha of 2011, you have the biggest year of your life ahead of you. Pregnancy is no small feat, I know you're uncomfortable and really wish you could have a glass or two of wine. You're going to make it though. It's good for you to be learning sacrifice, because you're just getting started. This year, you'll feel unimaginable highs and lower lows than you thought you'd ever see, let alone experience. You're strong enough. You won't think you are, you'll feel weak and like you're drowning, but you can do it. Trevor is there with you. Lean on him. He's there for a reason. You married him because he can make you laugh in any circumstance, because you somehow ended up on the same wavelength of thought, and because he can challenge you intellectually. Oh yeah, the whole love thing too. But the smarts, that will come in handy this year. Also, Gangnam style isn't that cool, but you'll be too busy to even realize this fad is going on.
Remember how you wanted to be a doctor when you grew up, then you decided that going to school wasn't fun enough for the end result? Well, you'll be in hospitals more this year than if you had a doctorate. Yeah. You'll sleep in them, eat in them, shower in them, and forget you actually have a home other than the hospital's walls. You won't get paid though. You will be working for something much more important than a paycheck. You will be diligently questing for the health, well-being, and life of your son. You will have to be articulate in your questions and in explaining your hang-ups with things you disagree with. You will need to advocate for yourself when no one else will, and you will need to learn when to listen to others when you are wrong. That's a hard one for us, Sam, but it's an important one.
You will feel like people don't listen to you, and sometimes they aren't listening, but don't give up. You will gain an instinct that you didn't have before, you will need to use your determination in cahoots with this new-found knowledge of what is best for you and yours. Oakley will inherit his bull-headed determination from you. I'm sure this will be trouble down the road, but it's integral for 2012 that he have the piss and vinegar that runs through your veins, and your mother's before yours. I wish I could give you more of a heads up, but I can't. You'll be able to navigate it though. You are Meriwether Lewis, and Trevor can be William Clark.
I would wish you a Happy New Year, but I won't. Instead, I'll wish you godspeed to 2013 and strength, because you just need to hold your breath to get through this.
Love, Samantha of the end of 2012
Oh, Sam! As usual, you made me cry! But, I am so thankful that you are who you are, and that you and Trevor have had the strength and courage to walk this road, standing by Oakley when the way has been so HARD--we know it has been, even if we can't even fathom all that you're going through! Because of you, Trevor, and most of all, Oakley, we've all learned to trust God more, and have hope that we didn't think was possible! Here's hoping that this new year will bring the miracles that we've been waiting for, even while we're thanking God for the ones that have already taken place!
ReplyDeleteWith love and prayers,
Grandma Davis